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Please note: The picture above was made possible in part by the runner I am about to blog about.

‘You useless article’ I think that’s what I called her shortly after we met and we’ve never looked back but for the purpose of this post I am going to look back a little and explain what this is about.

As readers will know I’ve just been badly injured for the last few months caused by a near unknown level of stoopidity, but during that time UltraBaby came along, I DNFd the Winter100 and I started a new job. It’s at the new job that I found a very inspiring character – @marathonwoman52. In this fellow tweeter and creative I’ve been able to keep my spirits surprisingly positive despite not being able to run – and it’s time to say thank you.

Now it’s true that awesome runners like @Susie__Chan and @Cat_Simpson_ are really the dogs doo-dars when it comes to being inspired to push harder, faster and further or @UltraDHC and @UltraRunnerDan when you want to know what ball churning tenacity is but I have an equally huge respect for those at the other end of the run spectrum that get up and pound the pavement for hour after hour in the pursuit of a better run time, a new challenge or simply to keep fit.

@marathonwoman52 falls very much at the heart of this final category and whenever I have the pleasure of speaking to her I find that my own challenges in running terms seem insignificant. Her chirpy, northern charm never fails to see the positive optimistic side and while she’s never going to break any speed records what she will do is go on to achieve truly great things in her own inimitable style.

And that starts here: in just a few short weeks she is going to tackle the mighty Brighton Marathon. Listening to the pride in her training is fantastic and I’m so thrilled to be able to get first hand accounts of how it’s all going. Sadly I won’t be in Brighton on race day as I’ll be running elsewhere but I know a lot of you will be heading down to Brighton so if you happen to see her or know her then make sure you cheer her in and if you follow her on Twitter (and do follow her on Twitter, I know my favourite community will only inspire her further) don’t forget to remind her to set up her justgiving page 🙂 – very interestingly she’s got herself involved in a Duathlon too, plus her run time at her first virtualrunneruk 5km was something to be very proud of. So she’s really gunning for a life fantastic, clad in lycra and lit in neon. She, to me, is living proof of why we do what we do – to be fabulous and prove that not just that this girl can but that everyone can.

Anyway to conclude, because I’ve gone on long enough. @marathonwoman52 I offer my most sincere thanks for you being incredibly supportive, whether you knew it or not, during my rehabilitation. And this is what this post is about, telling the world and my fellow tweeters that you’ve been one of the four amazing ladies (and my dog) that’s gotten me back on the roads and pounding the trails (the others being The GingaNinja, UltraBaby and ThumbMistress Rosie, my physiotherapist).

So thank you … oh and no bloody slacking.

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Whilst this post seems like it’s going to be a never ending bag of ‘isn’t my running life shit’ I hope the ending for those of you who get there is worth it. This post was written in three sections over the last 3 weeks. And apologies for the moaning tone.

Day 1 of writing this post
My physiotherapist has been very generous and kind, she did all she could to keep me on the road until the end of my 2014 race calendar but with each medal won she gave me a gentle reminder that these races and in fact each run was making things worse. She advised me that while I was continuing to do long distance running I wasn’t giving my body the required amount of rest and therefore wouldn’t be injury free. Now though I’ve reached the end of my 2014 race calendar and she’s not being quite so nice.

Sat on her table at 1.30pm on a Sunday afternoon is quite a scary prospect. She listened as I explained about the explosion of pain at my last ultra, she listened as I highlighted the various points that have been troubling me and she grimaced as I went through the length of time I have been struggling with these things.

She told me the following; I’m not allowed to run for several months and that if I don’t want to be in pain for the rest of my days I need to sort myself out. She spoke to me in just the way I needed and deserved – like I’ve been being a child. She did say if I work hard I’ll get back to running – IF I work hard at it.

She’s known, as well I have, that this day was always coming and for me it wasn’t until she got really stern that I finally just went ‘ok’ and aort of just broke down. That was a week or so back and it’s been just over 10 days or so since I was halted in agony at my last ultra and I’ve been working like there’s no tomorrow to try and fix this but I’m not even sure why.

I feel more like giving up than making a comeback.

Stretching, core, strengthening, core, more core, more fecking core, did I mention fecking core? I’m told I’m not allowed to pass the point of pain because I’m pretty ruined and pain is bad in this instance. The only pain I’m allowed is when I jam either a tennis ball or the GingaNinjas elbow in my glutes (then I cry). I’m doing what I’m told but more because I’m being told and not because I want to. Have I lost my mojo or is this just how you feel post DNF?

Day 2 of writing this post
My motivation is zero to do other exercise and that’s now perhaps the worst thing, I can’t be bothered. I look at my epic amount of running kit I own and see nothing but failure, perhaps what I see is a great big eBay sale but ultimately I’m scared I’ll never run again, scared I’ll never run a Centurion hundred mile race, mostly I’m scared that I’m a failure. A chap I know (reportedly, I didn’t hear it directly) took great pleasure in announcing my failure at my last race, that hurt a lot because my aim has never been to say ‘I’m better than you’ it’s always been to say ‘look at what you can do too, let’s go’. So while my physiotherapist helps me put my body back together how do I put my head into the right space?

My partner has refused to let me cancel any of next years races, she says they are my targets and she’s insisting I enter the CCC when the ballot opens because she believes the lure of a big race will create in me the fight needed to break my lethargy. Maybe she’s right, maybe she isn’t. But right now I’m going through the motions to try and find some mojo, some anything if truth be told.

Day 3 of writing this post
18 months of stupidity have potentially ruined my favourite activity but last night as I lay down with UltraBaby in one arm and my iPad in the other watching Charley Boorman and Ewan McGregor heading through France in the excellent ‘Long Way Down’ I saw the mountain that originally inspired my love of ultra distances – the Mont Blanc – and although my desire to run that race has waned a little I felt all the desire to race to the top of it, through it, along it, around it. Even this morning as I feel the aching pain and sharpness running through my pelvis and right down into my foot I can hold on to that positive image of running once again up bitchingly steep elevations. As you can see I needed something and my glimmer of hope came from a most unexpected source at a most unexpected time and even if the end result is that I’ll never run properly again at least I’ll have tried which is a far cry from how I felt just a couple of weeks ago. Young Amy a wannabee ultra runner (SDW50 2015 entrant) told me only yesterday that time is a great healer – it seems she’s got a point.

On a final note I’ve been the recipient of some brilliant support. I’m not sure I appreciated it at the time as I was looking far too inward but I’m grateful and thankful for being a runner because we do support each other when things go wrong – so thank you.

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The end of 2014 and the first eight months of 2015 look like it’s going to be race busy – not as hectic as 2014 has been for racing and hopefully not as injury filled but as I head into my fourth year of running I’m hoping to learn some lessons and adopt a quality over quantity approach to racing.

However, I’m hoping to add St Peter’s Way (February), CCC or TRA Ridgeway (August), the Saxon Shore Marathon (November 2014), possibly the Winter100 or T184 (October) and one of the Ramscombe Challenges, probably the summer one (July). That would then be about one long race per month – which should have been my 2014 schedule but havoc was caused by the inclusion of events I couldn’t turn down – no such problems for this coming year – I’m focused.

So what’s on your list for 2015? What have you got booked in and what have you missed out on? More importantly which races that I’m not considering should I think about?

See you out there.

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I originally got into ultra running because of my second rejection notification from the London Marathon, I’ve said this before, but what kept me going was the dream that I’d run the UTMB, but today (trapped on a train) that’s not my dream anymore – far from it. The UTMB (and MdS) as we all know is one of those ‘big name’ races, a bit like the London Marathon and it was the RD at Challenge Running who reminded me that you’ve basically got to run three big distance other ultras to qualify for the UTMB – it was then that I saw the logic of looking round for other ultras and not just qualifiers. For me my ultra running adventure is evolving, it’s become about seeing bits of the world and the UK that I otherwise might never, it’s about a quality piece of metal to hang round my neck and it’s about knowing I can do it.

Now it’s true that I’m going to enter the CCC but the criteria seem more forgiving and the distance more fun for a first mountain race. But the truth is if I don’t get in I really want to run both the TRA Ridgeway 84 miler and the Ring of Fire both of which would mean I couldn’t run the UTMB or the CCC. There’s also the Saintelyon which I’ve had my eye on for a couple of years and I’ve been inspired by Cat Simpson and her Atacama Crossing and fancy one of the big desert races, but probably not MdS.

I’m going to be applying my shorter race logic to the longer races – find those little golden nuggets of races because in them you’ll find glorious experiences. Obviously I’m still running qualifiers for Western States, UTMB and all the other ones you need to qualify for but I’m not so sure it’s a given that I’ll do them even if I get in.

Even my marathon running is adopting a similar strategy – I’ve just discovered saxon-shore.com and there you’ll find lots of lovely looping marathons on trails around Kent. They are inexpensive and I suspect (ask me again after this weekend) brilliant. I’m planning on using these marathons as a way to put a serious dent in my assault on the 100 marathons, now there is a dream I haven’t given up on 🙂

So why do you ultra? And has the change in qualification put you off the UTMB? Or would you rather race the smaller more intimate runs? What’s your reason for ultraing?

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My comeback from injury had been curtailed in the most part by my ongoing hamstring problems, I’ve brought back my training to a minimum and built my focus on strengthening and stretching the various affected areas. In practical terms this has meant much more cycling (about 120km per week) and about 30 minutes of stretching and physio ordered exercise with the occasionally doff of the cap to running (such as last weekends Les Witton 10 mile or running with UltraBaby- see picture above).

But the problem today isn’t injury the problem is that I just can’t quite shake this illness I’ve discovered I’m suffering with and its called The Running Bug.

Are you a sufferer?

Here are a few of my symptoms

1. You are grumpy when you don’t run
2. You buy new kit when you can’t run
3. You get green eyes when you see runners go past and you aren’t running
4. You enter races in the hope that you’ll be fit and well, despite all evidence saying you won’t
5. You turn up on race day and tell yourself you’ll run it off
6. You suffer with magpie-itis when you see other runners medals and wonder whether it’d be easier to steal their medal or just the race next year
7. Your sense of style eludes you as you go to work often missing key items of clothes such as thundercrackers or consider it acceptable to be sat there in neon all day.
8. ‘Normal’ people think you might have the kind of mental illness that requires therapy to cure you of spending hours and hours on a road or trail
9. You’ve stopped giving a flying fuck what anyone else thinks about anything (particularly running)
10. You often suffer with a rash round your gonads (that might just be me)

You may not suffer with all of these, infact you may not suffer with any of them but while I’ve been injured and on the comeback trail I’ve had almost all of the above – so much so that I’ve already signed up for two more ultra distances this week. If you suffer like I do then consider yourself lucky because running is just plain awesome – which makes you awesome and I’ll see you out there this weekend awesome runners.

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I’ve had over a year of near continuous injury in one form or other and it’s been hugely frustrating but the worst part was the slow but steady gaining of weight. It meant that when I couldn’t run at all I was putting on weight because I simply wasn’t burning off the calories.

I’d find I was starting to spin myself into frustration and feeling mentally fatigued by it and therefore put more weight on and so on and so on.

Just a day or two before I was due to volunteer at the NDW100 I made the mistake of weighing myself. It was then that I rocked in at a terrifying 81.1kg – this was the tipping point literally. I’ve never been 80kg, even when I returned from living in Asia and I was pretty unhealthy and podgy but I was never 80kg.

So on the eve of the NDW100 I dropped my daily calorie intake from too much to 1560, I reloaded MyFitnessPal on my iPhone and I disposed with all the delicious chocolate and bread in the house.

I decided that the best solution in eating terms was an increase of fruit and vegetables coupled with a reduction in high sugar foods like biscuits and the almost total eradication of bread from my diet. However, I also needed to be sensible and was very aware of the fact I don’t really like fruit and vegetables so would have to increase my nut and pulse intake to help stop me feeling hungry – lentils are my new favourite food. Finally I reintroduced tea and coffee which although not awesome in great quantities do serve to stave off hunger – well it does for me!

The other part of the puzzle would be easier – more exercise. Despite injury I increased the amount of exercise I was doing by going to the pool and ensuring that I rocked out at least 45 minutes of cycling each day, periodically I was even managing to run! The exercise bit was awesome, it felt really good to have a target again and I was back in training with my eyes firmly focused on the Winter 100.

I’ll be honest it’s been incredibly hard to get started but with the bit between my teeth I felt believed I could this and make it stick.

Week 1 was a nightmare and there were moments I could quite cheerfully have purchased a large Meat Feast Domnio’s Pizza with BBQ sauce and extra crispy onions and pepperoni but I didn’t. Each day I stuck within the calorie limit and I exercised.

At about week 4 UltraBaby began the process of showing up and in the days between my weigh ins I lost almost nothing – but I did still manage to lose. Had I gained during this period this might have destroyed my mental strength but the 0.3kg that dropped off gave me a lift you can’t imagine.

I’ve now managed to drop about 5kg in the first 6 weeks and I’m pleased with this but know I’ve got a long way to go yet. The best bit is that all my trousers are feeling that much better and a lot less tight. The aim now is to have dropped to about 70kg before the Winter100 as I figure that carrying less weight around that hundred miles will do me no harm whatsoever.

I suppose the conclusion to this is that you’ve got to mindful of your body all the time, show some restraint, don’t punish yourself when you don’t and do enthuse yourself as much as possible and you’ll keep healthy. I let myself put weight on because I blamed injury for my lack of exercise and need to comfort eat but it’s the very same injuries that have forced me back onto the road, the trail and the pool and it’s those same injuries that stopped me pigging out. Ultimately losing weight and staying healthy are a bit like ultra marathons – play the long game, keep positive and don’t stop.

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