The pandemic has given many of us time to reflect on how we live our lives and the things that are important to us. For me there has been a good deal of introspection and observing myself in ways that I haven’t done for a long time.
For example I observed that I’d become an apologist for my weight gain and I’d become drab in the way I presented myself. The truth is that I have always been a bit drab in the way I presented myself, even in my raving, disco dancing heyday I preferred to be neutral, sombre, hiding in plain sight but in more recent years I’ve been keen to be more outlandish but without the body confidence or personality to pull it off.
The weight gain had become a real issue during the early days of the pandemic and I found myself finally willing to do something about it (and still am, 18kg down, 6kg to go). The running became more structured and there was the addition of paddle sports, roller skating, cycling and weight training. There was something though that gnawed at me and it was the desire to be more outwardly outrageous. Hmmm.
I’ve always enjoyed mildly batshit coloured running shoes but have rarely extended that to the rest of my running attire so how could I go about my makeover?
First I started growing some ridiculous facial hair – within a month it was suitably long, straggly and insane but I liked it. I bought a collection of new footwear including the MTN Racer from Topo Athletic and I finally imported the awesome (also Topo Athletic) Terraventure 2 in a lurid yellow that I have long coveted. Then I went that little bit further I started buying multi-coloured, swirly patterned running tops, orange and bright red running vests, big rainbow bobble hats and pink Drymax socks. I realised I had hit my personal zeitgeist as far as running fashion was concerned when I ordered a pair of mirrored shades with which to put this all together.
It was awesome.
I figured I might well look like a giant prick but I just didn’t give two flying fucks because I was kind of giant prick I wanted to be.
Being happy in yourself is important because it is really, really hard to help other people be happy if you aren’t. It is important to stress that the way we look is not the most important thing and that shouldn’t be the takeaway from this, the takeaway is that I needed to be myself and express my own individuality, even if it is only while I’m bombing along a trail somewhere. The pandemic has provided the luxury of time for me to identify the kind of person I want to be going forward (subject to surviving the pandemic of course). So if you see me in a race or running along somewhere looking like a bona fide bellend, remember this, I’m loving it.
So be yourself, express yourself and ultimately as long as you’re not shitting all over someone else’s life then it doesn’t really matter what you do to achieve your own happy.
Much has changed in the last few months, I’ve dropped over 13kg in weight, I’ve finally grown an ultra beard, I now own two kayaks and a paddleboard, ASK Adventurer turned 6 and oh yes… COVID 19
You’ll all be aware that racing has been off the agenda for most of 2020 due to the pandemic and only in the last few weeks has it really shown any return, albeit, that return, at the time of writing, is in jeopardy.
While I realise that running events not happening isn’t the end of the world, it does effect me, but being so long since my last race I wondered if this enforced absence might have seen my racing love, wane somewhat.
Then along came the lovely Luke Gow who I’d met at the Nocturnal Ultra a couple of years ago (evening geezer) and he suggested that Ultra North in Northumberland might be going ahead and would have spaces. What a cheeky little bugger manipulating me like that…
Well of course I immediately checked out the website and given I’m susceptible to even the lightest race persuasion* I soon found myself stumping up the entrance fee. (*this seems an odd phrase on re-reading, I need to practive my writing more).
Ultra North comes from the same people who do things like The Great North Run and the Great Swim Series – as a larger events organisation I would normally avoid them – because experience suggests that the profit motivation goes before the quality of the event. However, after swimming in a couple of the Great Swim series I had high hopes that this would be one of the better ‘large’ events.
Ultra North was targeting a wide running base in its advertising as it was being suggested as suitable for both speed demons and those of us with more of a snails pace and in this sense it opened its arms to all who were willing to give it a go. With generous cut offs and lots of support – plus two race distances this was, on paper, a good novice ultra event. Perhaps on paper you’d have read this as a road marathoner and thought ‘I could do Ultra North’.
Ultimately I was quite happy that I was signing up to a race that wasn’t to my usual tastes but the question is did it prove to be better than my expectations and dud it reignite my racing fire?
We’ll get there in a minute.
Anyway we drove down to a place about an hour outside of the start in Newcastle called Bellingham and camped overnight – this meant there wasn’t a near 3hr sprint from Scotland to the start line. This enable me to have a much more relaxed approach to reaching the registration point and with all the COVID regulations in place you really wanted to be arriving in a semi relaxed state.
Weather conditions promised heavy rain so the outdoor registration system was a bit miserable but the team behind Ultra North were quick, effective and as enthusiastic as you could hope for. It wasn’t perhaps your typical Geordie welcome but these are unusual times we live in.
I collected my race number and affixed it to my leggings and then lined up, all very simple. The Eagles Arena car park had been set up to give the runners adequate space to social distance and runners were sent off in groups of 3. It wasn’t a race start to write home about – COVID has sapped the energy out of events – but this is to be expected and so as we were sent on our merry way I remembered that this is temporary and that for the first time since the Falkirk Ultra I was racing again.
The route lumbered its way through some very uninspiring kilometres which had me worried, the tarmac was hard and the roads grey and without joy – if the whole event was like this then it was going to be a truly miserable day. However, the runners, many of whom were from the north east had the lovely chatty, friendly personality I had come to expect and COVID had not managed to beat that. I both listened in and joined into conversations that passed me and that I went past. That was lovely and thankfully once we were closing in on the first checkpoint at 13km the route was becoming more interesting I started to enjoy myself.
It was in the last couple of kilometres to checkpoint one that I met the lovely Leanne who was a first time ultra runner and looking incredibly strong. We chewed the fat a bit before saying farewell as we set off for checkpoint two but I had no doubt she had a great finish in her. Her energy gave me the drive to push onwards to CP1 when I might normally have dragged my heels a bit – so thank you!
The checkpoints were very simply laid out with all the bits you could want and it was very much self help (which I prefer), a one way system through the CP and hand sanitising before you tuck in.
Now because I’m on a weight loss fight I decided not to stuff my face, so it was a small amount of cola, one chocolate pancake thing and then gone.
From here we crossed the Tyne for the first time and off for a series of climbs into the ‘wilds’ of Northumberland and the route provided those with road shoes on something of a challenge as we climbed muddy, wet, rocky trails. This was probably my favourite section but I did hear a number of the runners cursing this and describing it as tough (ha! wait until you try MIUT then you’ll know tough!). All the road running was worth these lovely little bits of trail and I was disappointed when the climbing and the mud abated. Still back to the roads and actually as I passed through little villages and lovely bits of England I had never before seen I found a great sense of joy – I’ll be honest this was mildly tempered by the soaking I had taken and continued to take.
I passed by the next checkpoint in good time and was only mildly concerned that one of the marshals offered me the ambulance. He must have misinterpreted my response to; ‘do you need anything?’ To which I had replied, ‘a lift back?’
It was in this section that I met Chris (if I’ve got your name wrong my apologies), we chatted for a bit and I encouraged us to a bit of running – he told me that the running we’d done had been the longest he’d done in a while. When I left him to carry on running I was convinced he would make it and sure enough as I was driving home I saw him coming into the final kilometre looking as determined as when I had left him. Good job fella!
I was now into the last 20km or so and was bang on time, not too fast, not too slow. I hit the third checkpoint and was in and out pretty quickly but as I left the checkpoint I noted ASK and the GingaNinja approaching and waving wildly from Rona!
I stopped mere seconds to wave at them and tell them I had to continue – they would thankfully come and see me later in the race which was a perfect pick me up at about 45km.
More tarmac passed under my weary feet and for someone who had weak glutes, no core stength, trail shoes on and very limited training in the bank this was proving a killer, not that I’m looking for excuses, obviously.
There was also the back injuries that have plagued me since about 2015 resurfacing at 20km and made the weight of my race vest feel very heavy and draining indeed. That problem is going to be a very serious issue for The Cheviot Goat in a few weeks time. Here though the problem manifested itself as severe pain across the middle of my back and so I would hoist my race vest higher up my back to alleviate the stress points.
Regardless I pushed onwards as I knew that I was now not going to DNF, even with the back pain I could push through and claim my first medal in months. It was at about 40km though that the dynamic of the race changed for me and I met a young man with a nice beard called Lewis and we got chatting during one of my regular refuelling and walking breaks. We found ourselves chewing the fat over all sorts of topics and I found his company delightful and very distracting from my back trouble.
I could have run on from him as I had the energy to do it, but I made a decision that his speed walking pace was sufficiently excellent, my back was in pieces and if we maintained this pace I’d only be 40 minutes slower than if I were running and so despite both of us clearly stating, ‘please crack on if you need to’ we stayed together and talked (hopefully) about useful, useless and running things for the final three hours of the event!
As we crossed the Millennium Bridge across the Tyne I recounted my last running in Newcastle (Rat Race’s The Wall – review here), I was even able to identify the nightclub where a drunken Geordie lass offered to help myself and another runner up to the finish despite not being able to stand herself – I have no idea if there’s a euphemism in there but there might have been at the time of the original event.
I was surprised that lots of the runners I spoke to were considering or had run The Wall, I’d urge everyone to make sure you’ve looked round at alternatives, The Wall is very expensive for what you’re getting and the north and north east have a lot of great value, great running events. Just saying.
Anyway with the wind on our back and the rain on our faces Lewis and I ambled gently towards the finish. I was now very cold, partly due to an extended stop at the final checkpoint, partly due to a gruelling 8hr soaking, so I was keen to finish but the cold and the speed walking had drained any notion of running the last kilometre.
Lewis and I waited until we could see the finish before we put on a short burst of speed and crossed the eerily quiet finish line and the collection of our rewards.
An odd day, a good day.
Ascent: Around 550 metres
Date: October 2020
Entrants: 109 finishers
Terrain: Mixed, lots of tarmac
Tough Rating: 1/5
Route This one isn’t going to win any prizes for being the most scenic but it has its moments, ultimately I think you know what you’re likely to be getting into when the compulsory kit says ‘debit card’ to buy supplies if you need them.
If you’re a fast road runner and fancying the transition to trail this would be a great route to get some testing into your feet or if you’re new to the ultra marathon scene then this won’t come as too much of a shock. The route has a lot in common with the aforementioned ‘The Wall’ in that the amount of road running is quite high. However, if you’re aware of this or have a preference for it then you’re going to enjoy yourself. If you’re an out and out trail runner then this might not be one for you.
These are also a couple of iconic moments on the route too – obviously the run alongside the Tyne is a must see if you’re coming to Newcastle and this brought back a shitload of great memories for me. Running the last bit with Lewis as well gave it a nice social element that we’ve all been missing since racing stopped.
Anyway I can’t actually be negative about the route overall, it is mostly quite good fun (well except for that shitty first few kilometres but every race has a bit like that). I would urge the Ultra North organisers to see if there are any ways to add in some of the lovely trails that lined the roads of the route – I realise this probably means greater organisation and costs but it would make for a more complete route and would certainly draw runners like me back.
Organisation I would struggle to fault the organisation, it was very well oiled. The checkpoints were well spaced out and well thought out, the marshalls were all well organised and well drilled, all instructions, both on the day and pre-race, were clear and the COVID side of things was handled with all the grace and clarity it could be. Ultra North should be commended for managing to put on a city starting event and yet maintain the required level of protocols.
A special note of course to the marshals without whom these events could not take place, each and every one of them that I came into contact with was doing a spectacular job and while it might not have been cuddles and kisses there was a lot of support and encouragement and no hint of pressure to get out of a CP. Well done guys.
Value for Money Always a tricky one, this race was about £65 which I consider a fair amount for a race. What did you get? You got a well organised, well supported race across a circular route and a medal and T-shirt where you could see were bespoke. The food at the checkpoints was plentiful, nice and varied and so, yes, Ultra North offered good value for money.
Awards Bespoke medal and shirt (size medium, that’s what a bit of weight loss will do for you). I liked the medal and shirt, very vibrant, much like the rest of the excellent event branding.
Conclusion Any runner, and I mean any runner or long distance walker, could find enough good reasons to take part in this.
It’s short enough for a a marathon runner to test their ability on a new distance, mixed terrain runners would enjoy the variety, new to ultra distance runners will find it not too challenging and experienced ultra runners will enjoy the day out in Newcastle not being covered in as much shit as usual.
It’s possibly not the event that you’ll remember as the best you ever did but does that really matter? It was a fun day out as far as I am concerned and remember I was soaking wet for 8hrs. Would I return to run it again? I would certainly consider returning – though I think the October date is much better than the original March date that is pencilled in for this and if the route was made a little more of the trail features found all over this landscape then you’ve got a bona fide hit.
Racing Fire Did Ultra North return my racing fire? Sort of – I’m now looking forward to The Cheviot Goat much more than I was – but COVID 19 has removed a lot of the fun of racing for me.
I’ve been rather absent from the blog during lockdown as I had nothing to say in the pantheon of opinion that had filled the internet. Instead I chose to spend my time mostly eating biscuits and assuming that what will be, will be.
There are consequences however to at least half of this approach and that is you become fat.
I became even fatter during the lockdown – ballooning to over 85kg.
I walked past a mirror one day with a giant slab of cake in my hand, having difficulty breathing and realised I had fucked myself up.
‘You fat fucking bellend,’ were my exact words. The GingaNinja has already started the process of removing the biscuits and sweet treats from the house as she too had realised that we had both treated lockdown like a unlimited visit to Mr. Wonka’s chocolate factory.
I realised that none of my clothes fit and that I was down to my last half a dozen running tops that didn’t go immediately skin tight in a size ‘L’. It was these little things and the fear that my daughter might think this was good behaviour made me rethink things.
I also spent a lot of time working at the kitchen table during lockdown with a view out onto the street I live on and noticed a curious daily behaviour of one of my neighbours – daily take-away orders (once available). Now that’s their choice and I am not judging the rights or wrongs of this for them but it became a real point of incentive for me – I don’t ever want to find myself feeding the whole family from KFC, McDonalds and Dominos.
I was motivated, internally, to act.
I weighed myself at the end of June and coming in at 87.7kg proved to be the final straw that I needed to get back on it.
I decided to go cold turkey, there would be no sliding into a change of pace, straight down to 1200 calories a day and exercise as often as I could manage it with the addition of doing other types of activities that might address my occasional lethargy about running.
I bought a couple of kayaks, a stand-up paddle board, multi-gym and thanks to the influence of instagrammers @wonky_wanderer and @loopy279 I tried my wetsuit on again and added in a trisuit and some OW swimming kit and found a lagoon I can go to.
I’ve cleaned off the bikes, bought a weeride tag-along bike for the child to join me, returned to hill hiking and I’ve been committed to this. I’m also using all of this kit to help my achieve my aims and between the water sports, running and even dance I’m finding that breathing is better, weight is shifting and clothes are starting to fit better.
The best thing is that both the GingaNinja and I are all over this and we are both focused on becoming fitter, stronger, faster and just generally better. It is that togetherness that makes this whole thing possible and if one of us fails then inevitably both of us fail – however, wobbles are being ironed out and managed. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m hungry way too much of the time but I have a new appreciation for the food we are eating.
Every day starts with Weetabix and finishes with an Options Hot Chocolate and in the middle there is a shitload of coffee to keep me going. I haven’t looked at chocolate in months, I’m cooking more and eating better – it’s not perfect but since that first weigh in I’ve dropped just over 12kg and I’m happy about that but I’ve still got another 11kg to go and the toning work needs to be done as I approach my 43rd birthday.
At my height the recommended low weight is about 64kg and that is where I am aiming. My old boss and I used to joke that every snickers bar took me a step further away from fitting into my compressport kit, well GCJ, I intend getting into it this time and staying in it!
Now here’s your part;
Lots of the people who read this will know me from the ultra running and ultra racing scene, many of you will have met me and had to put up with my near endless poo stories. So, if you see me at a race or running and you think I’m about to tuck into a sweet treat that is going to deny me the prize of fitting into that tiny compression top then you have my permission to spout the most vitriolic, offensive, fat shaming you can think of.
Fat shaming is rightly considered horrific, so many people suffer with both the physical and mental side of weight issues, but for me being fat shamed serves only to fire my desire to do better. Yes I’ve written before about my issues with body shape / body image, weight and the mental battle that is ongoing but please – I put myself in this position and I’m asking for your help.
When a fellow ultra runner told me last year (before the big weight gain) that ‘I’d put some beef on’ I was so horrified that I started to do something about it – sadly I slipped off the wagon. However, this time I feel like I’m approaching it in a more rounded way and part of the rounded approach is people not saying ‘well done’ but saying, ‘get it sorted you stupid prick’. And remember the more offensive the better – very seriously though don’t take this approach with anyone else, it really isn’t for everyone and will most likely offend, hurt or worse those less able to deal with such hateful terminology.
And my part;
Well I just have to remain committed and that very much starts with my attendance at the 55km Ultra North in just a couple of weeks time.